progress

I went and saw the doctor last week and the cyst cleared and he started me on my month of birth control. I am waiting for the nurse to call today with our IVF plan but it looks like we should be getting started around August 8th. I am so glad to be moving forward. I have been taking birth control, antibiotics (did anyone else's Dr. assign antibiotics to clear out anything that might be in your system?) and I have started taking prenatals again. I think it is the birth control but every morning I wake up with nausea.

My husband and I went to dinner with some new friends over the weekend. It came up that we have been married six years, they were curious as to why we haven't had children. It is rare that people in our sub-culture would be married this long without children. My husband explained that we have been trying for the last two years to have children. I always find it interesting that so many people respond to this with, ''you know it helps to put your hips in the air after sex, right?" I always respond with, yes we have tried that but I have a medical condition. I don't think anyone gets to the IVF stage without having tried putting their hips in the air, or trying any variety of yoga poses for 5-15 minutes. I know what all the books say to help aid having babies, I have tried all the tricks. I promise.

I have been regulating my emotions as far as IVF goes, I am afraid to completely invest myself because there is always the chance that it will not work, and historically I am a poor responder. I have to remember the very real possibility of failure and then I wonder, how far am I willing to take this journey. I have no answer for that.

On the flip side I find myself thinking of nurseries and counting out the months to see when I would potentially have a baby. Please work IVF, please, please, please work.

in between

The nurse says that apparently I have to put off IVF for a month because they are cleaning the labs in July? I am so confused, I am supposed to be starting my month of birth control so how does having the labs cleaned in July affect me starting a month of birth control in July? I am going to have to ask my Dr. about this on Wednesday because I am not thrilled with the prospect of putting everything off a month. Ever since my AMH came back so low I feel like I am on borrowed time and I don't want to waste a minute.

It has also been interesting to see my reaction to my period this month. I just keep praying that my period will stay the full 5-7 days, isn't that ironic? You spend most of your life wishing it would go faster and viewing it as a nuisance. Now I pray that it will stay the whole week so that I don't have to be that much closer to POF or menopause.

I still haven't received the results from my karotype (sp?) and fragile x test. It has been a month since the blood was drawn and mailed to Massachusetts, I am ready for the results.