Friday, September 16, 2011

trying to catch reality

I am still trying to grasp the reality of it all. It seems unbelievable that after all these years my wish is finally being granted. A part of me keeps waiting for AF to come and take it all away.

I am trying to cherish every minute particularly as there is no guarantee I will ever get to experience another pregnancy. Which brings me to this comment seen on Facebook:

"frankly anyone who says they enjoy being pregnant is LYING! I'm 20 weeks and complain all the time lol! I think anyone who is pregnant gets a
free pass to complain. Sure it's a blessing, but also kind of miserable at the same time."

Reading this strengthens my resolve to not complain about pregnancy. I am so grateful to even have this opportunity and mindful that there are still so many women who are waiting for it. It is a blessing to be pregnant and anyone who has dealt with infertility understands that any kind of sickness or discomfort is a small price to pay for the ultimate dream.

Monday, September 12, 2011


Well I got the call on Saturday and they said it was a good high number, I am pregnant. It doesn't feel real to me.

The excitement of the news has been somewhat dulled by the constant reminders I get from seemingly everyone that it could still end in miscarriage. My father in law told me to be cautiously enthusiastic. Really? I have been the one who has dealt with every disappointment for the last 2+ years, do they all really think that I am the one blind to the risks? I don't need or want everyone reminding me of the possibility of miscarriage, I know it is there. If it comes to that it comes to that. I can't control it but I don't need the worse case scenario thrown at me with EVERY SINGLE conversation that I have. What ever happened to the power of positive thinking?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

real or fake

I have had some lovely nausea the last couple of days, meat makes me gag. The question is this, do I feel nausea from the estradial and progesterone? Is it because I desperately want any sign that I could be pregnant? Or is it because one or both of these embryos are going to make all of my dreams come true? Less than a week until I find the answer out. Let's hope it is because of the last one though.