Tuesday, April 26, 2011

and..... another step back

After meeting with the specialist in San Francisco, it was recommended that I get my AMH levels tested. My RE agreed. I got the test results back. 0.3. I asked what a normal 26 year old would be and the answer? 1.0.

It is times like these that all the numbness rolls away and I am left feeling desperate and asking why. Why? I am 26 years old! I shouldn't have to know what AMH is or even care about my ovarian reserve. I don't want to wonder how many years I have left to have children. I don't want to have to consider donor eggs, or get offers from my sisters. I don't want to have to talk to my parents and brothers about my eggs.

I feel broken. I am not working. My body is not working. I had so much hope after San Fran, I was borderline. Now I am very low, red zone. All I want is to be like my friends on facebook. In labor, trying to figure out potty training or how on earth to keep a child asleep after 6 AM. Those are problems I want.


  1. I'm so sorry you are now having to deal with this, on top of everything else. I don't know much about AMH..is there anything you can do? But you're right, you shouldn't even have to be worrying about this at all.

    Sending you a big virtual hug...

  2. I'm so sorry. It's true, it's completely unfair that you have to deal with it.

    But, right now, the best to know is that it is good that you know what you're dealing with and have doctors who are ready to help. Sending lots of hugs.

  3. God, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine. It's such a hit in your gut to know that you aren't functioning the way you should or expect. I never thought I would have conception issues in my 20's, but low and behold I can't have a baby without help.

    I wish you all the luck in dealing with this and hope you are still able to figure out a way to have your family.