Tuesday, April 12, 2011

when you feel nothing at all

I have become numb to the emotions of infertility. I think this is greatly aided by the fact that I have taken 5 months off of treatments. I saw the Dr. today and IVF it is. And I feel numb. Maybe I am confusing sadness to nothing/numbness, I don't know. I don't want to have to worry about making the decision on when to start, how to come up with the money. The list goes on and on and on and on. I just want a baby. Is that so much to ask?

P.S. Blood drawn today for an AMH test. My arm looks like some one killed it from the inside. Worst. Blood draw. EVER!

P.P.S. The two week wait is over. I should become a professional pregnancy test taker. I fail with such regularity that I could be the control part of a study.


  1. I think I'm there with you. I've gotten beyond anger and depression to numbness.

    Sorry for the nasty blood draw and, of course, the BFN.

  2. I feel you. We just decided on IVF and it was the hardest and most frightening decision we came to. I still feel like we're walking in a dream and it's not really happening.

    I hope you can find a way to come to terms with it and find some peace. It's a difficult position to be in.


  3. Sending you lots of hugs. xx

    I have nominated you for a blogging award. Check out http://summastarlet.blogspot.com/2011/04/blogging-awards.html for details!