Monday, August 26, 2013

You don't choose IVF, it chooses you.

I don't think the general public understands IVF.  Many seem to view is as a way to control an outcome.  $15,000 to guarantee a boy, a girl or twins, they think, what a bargain!  Really? $15,000 for what you can do for free?  And that's a bargain?

IVF isn't something that you do for the hell of it.  You don't put yourself through the physical and emotional side effects just because.  You don't take multiple pills and make yourself a pin cushion unless you have run out of other options.  Everything else failed.  IVF is a last resort.

Ethical issues about choosing gender or multiples aside the truth about IVF is that it's not a guarantee.  It's a gamble.  It doesn't always work.  Embryos don't always take.  The harsh reality, that is our reality, is one that the general public doesn't get.

Which brings me to my next point.  Who really thinks that it is okay to talk to an infertile about this?  Treating IVF as it is a casual thing.  The insensitivity astounds me.  Making one of the most emotional experiences of my life into no big deal?
 'Anyone should do it if they want a boy/girl/multiples!'
 'It's no big deal to pony up that kind of money to have a baby!'

 I mean really?

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